you know how when you don't sleep, your days just seem to join together like a long stretch.
i know how when i don't sleep, my days just seem to join together like a long stretch.


realise i think more at night. not anything in particular, but just keep ticking. irritating if i've to get up at 6 for sch. i think i can tell the time from the changing scents of the air at night.
2, 3, 4, 5..


Picked up at pamphlet the other day, titled 'Time' -
"God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. " John 3:16
familiar verse, maybe too familiar.
but it went on,
" Eternal life means no more death. Time shall no more be our fetter, if you believe.. there is liberation from the bondage of the giant hands of Time."
was staring at it. always preoccupied me, this "Time" issue, this bondage issue..bounded by the ticking forwards and yet the losing of every second.
insight, never interpreted the verse this way..triumphed?


food for thought? cliche, cliche
i need some breakFAST!!

feeling..static today. i mean, more than i am normally.
like stuck in the after-feeling of waking up from a dream.
very sunk, sunk
somewhere between the world i left behind in my dream and the world which i wake up to.
and what i feel is then ..

missing some place or something, that i can't be satiated in the present where i am.


莊子齊物論:莊周梦胡蝶

昔者庄周梦为胡蝶，栩栩然胡蝶也。
自喻适志与！不知周也。俄然觉，则蘧蘧然周也。
不知周之梦为胡蝶与？胡蝶之梦为周与？周与胡蝶则必有分矣。
此之谓物化。


Chuang-Tzu once dreamed he was a butterfly. When he awoke, he no longer knew if he was a butterfly dreaming he was a man, or a man who had dreamed he was a butterfly.

LG

Odoridasu machi ni futari no ima o
Sagashi tsuzukete hashaida ano hi

Dancing in the streets we have been looking and searching
The moment that belongs to you and me, at that moment we are truly excited





Hashiridasu machi de futari no ashita
Yume ni egaite mitsuketa yoake

Running in the streets
we have sketched our tomorrow in the dreams
and we found it at dawn







Shiawase na ketsumatsu, Eiichi Ohtaki

for some time now, i think..i've always thought that i'm so myself that i don't need to be affected by others. somehow saw it as a weakness,see as weak thus refrain or, because am weak thus refrain. whether or not its because i never willingly let myself near enough to be affected. people affect..like how you know when the atmosphere's wrong. when they take a turn to another route, makes you hear the sound of your own panting breath louder, something about security..i can't quite place that feeling now. it gets to me.
just crossed my mind what AC was saying the other time.you need to stand firm black and white on some things, only then can the gray areas stay gray.

wind - child

noticed the billboards around bus-stops recently, don't let terrorism affect your life or something along those lines.
true, and we gratefully thank the government for its anxious heartfelt concern.
truth is, they dont go around telling you to not let it affect unless they know it will.

i like marshmallows.
yet too much fluffy stuff makes you sick.
but i'd always like marshmallows.

the same concept applies.

i wanted to work at the airport rather than other places. you can say its just a place. but at the airport i get the feeling of not being so trapped. like a platform connected to different cultures, different scents. people carrying different scents and memories from where they came still beating warm on their skin, and at landing all the fresh experiences mushing together, new at each interaction -refreshing!
i think i can stand coming to such a place everyday more than in a office or shop in town.

the cocoa trees kinda took that to the sewers for me
whooops. but then again, they're just a shop. within a shop space.

sometimes just right as i'm about to fall asleep. how do i put it..there's this wooden toy they sell, a vertical wooden block with two columns of cups, abt 2 in each row on both sides. drop a marble one one of the top cups, and it falls down, left, right, left,doink. kinda like Alice falling down the hole when chasing the White Rabbit.

so just right before i tumble forth, i open my eyes. and the feeling's good. for a moment i'm happy. the kinda happy..in the full sense.. like a circle. i feel my being, alone in the night in my bed. alive. drones of a passing car, the orange light of the distant street lamp coloring my white walls. comfortably tired.

this works for me, short moments i own.
does the night belong to me, or i to the night?
then too soon it is daylight.

iku yo

i'd do with this. it won't last. quite make-shift actually. something new,now and then. it'd do for now. or the subsequent 'nows'..like now.. now..and uh now.
say. i'm already tired of this blog thing, naming the blog took quite some time with every other thing i typed taken up.
some see blogging as some form self-indulgence..it kinda cuts both ways..think its more the other way round. when you open up so much..isnt it more of sharing yourself out to a bigger entity..if you can put it that way.
bloggers beat people who talk into mirrors hands down, if you (you..shouldn't I be talking to me?) ask me.

time for me to upgrade anyway.