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wah pissed. i should always always buy things myself (i.e know what i want) always regret regret hate to regret regret hate that i hate to regret regret.
roll of thunder, hear me moan

can just kick myself abt making wrong choices . why is it really that it gets to me so much? having missed opportunity to maximise what would've potentially been the best?
that failed to fully achieve self-expression and the thought of it?

this self-expressing esp thru apparel. fashion should be enjoyable, else, whats else there for it. tricky aint it. how genuine is an expression worn as a presented appearnce..self-expressing to my own ideal, to validate oneself infront of others? so if i dont get the one i like best (i.e best expressed), does it make an insufficent presentation or expression of myself?

OR. this need to maximise potential, perfect.. why should it matter that much, does it jab more at the inability to justify myself to myself, or to myself in others eyes.


why this.. want to express ourselves..in any way? to vaildate our own existance?
to vent, to be a release, to share, to create -
yet unconsciously a very sure way of validating, proving ourselves to be an unique living breathing individual.


why this feeling then, the joy of expression?


Maybe. Its the joy of feeling alive.
to live, alive.






"For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing;"

"Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun- all your meaningless days. "

-Ecc 9:5;9